Posts by Special K

28

Do JW couples really have better relationships?

by Latin assassin from Manhattan in

jw
friends

are jw marriages any better than the ones 'in the world' as they put it?

when they walk from door to door or mingle after a meeting they appear to be models of ideal marriages.

do you have any experiences with married couples in the 'truth'?

Special K

latin-assassin-from-manhattan

Through my childhood experience with my own family, I find them no different that people outside the hall. What goes on behind closed doors is certainly not what is shown at the kingdom hall.

My dad worked his way up the ranks in the J.W.Organization, and at home, he turned into mr hyde. Violent, abusive language, abusive to mother and children, hitting and kicking, etc. But, when he stepped in that hall, he was every bit as sweet as could be.

Never forget, that the way some people are in public is not always the way they are at home.

However, I'm sure not all J.W. married couples are like that. But I have met many a married couple who are outside the religion who look to me that they have great marriages and are happy, too.

Special K

24

Vasectomy, anyone???

by Maverick in

the tread on having children got me thinking about birth control and its role in the borg.

after my daughter was about a year old we tired to have another child.

thinking it would be good for our daughter to have a brother or sister.

Special K

maverick

Sorry, for your loss. I was just down to the cemetery yesterday and visited our little loss. Similar circumstance baby almost full term. Sometimes, I think the loss will never go away but then maybe it's not supposed to go away. You see, your children, are not supposed to die before you.. it's just not natural...

I wasn't aware on the restrictions on the snip snip or tubal. I'll have to read futher and maybe go back to the older reference that was mentioned.

My opinion, is that, it is of a personal choice for a man or woman to have these procedures done. It is a weighty decision to make and needs careful consideration.

Special K

67

Ran into two JW's in service today, I was on !!!, it was classic !!!

by run dont walk in

jw
friends

well, for some reason i was up extra early today, understand i am night person and usually sleep to 11 or so today i was up at 9 and decided to take the dogs out before it got to hot outside.

i hadn't been gone 3 minutes and as i came out of my street onto another i bumped into 2 jw's (females) getting out of their suv.

they asked do you have a couple of minutes.

Special K

Hey!! Do you mean I could have had a brand new SUV if I would have stayed in the WTBTS. Gee's I never thought of that..

It's like. picking the pedals off a daisy .

I'm saying.. Should I go back to J.W's because I want a $60-$70 SUV?

or .. should I stay out out of J.W.'s and keep my sanity..

Hmm. SUV lasts until it rusts out.. and a free minds lasts all my life.

Now, that wasn't hard I'll keep the free mind.

Oh, I wish I was sitting in a tree hearing and seeing all their reactions to what you said. Some KODAK MOMENT there, I am sure.

Hey, I need you to come and talk to them when they come to my door.

BECAUSE YOU ARE >>>GOOOD<<<< at this.

Special K

27

An elder wants to study with me...please help!

by shotgun in

after my recent barrage of elder visits i've been told that to truly show i'm willing to work at restoring my faith a bs is needed.. i want to be able to pick a few recent publications (last 10 yrs) and sit down with him and examine all the quotes and references in the publications to show how the society has misquoted and misrepresented so much in their publications.

do you know which publications would be best..keeping in mind the reference material will also have to readily accessible to be of any use.

i don't think searching on the internet will be acceptable to him.. .

Special K

Shotgun

I like Primitivegenius's idea

He cracks me up. I laughed to hard I thought I'd cry.

Special K

27

An elder wants to study with me...please help!

by shotgun in

after my recent barrage of elder visits i've been told that to truly show i'm willing to work at restoring my faith a bs is needed.. i want to be able to pick a few recent publications (last 10 yrs) and sit down with him and examine all the quotes and references in the publications to show how the society has misquoted and misrepresented so much in their publications.

do you know which publications would be best..keeping in mind the reference material will also have to readily accessible to be of any use.

i don't think searching on the internet will be acceptable to him.. .

Special K

Shotgun

Sounds like the ball is back in your court, for now. Play your cards the way YOU want to play them.

It would be easy for me to say... don't study with them.. are you crazy! It certainly would be crazy for me to study with them. I'm no longer have the threat of having my family turn on me..been there done that and paid the Doctor bills.

But, I am not you, and although lots of members of this forum can voice their opinions.. they are not you.

But ... it sure is nice to voice ones own opinion and not get axed for it.

Special K

33

The WTS Kills Another Child

by Robdar in

i spoke to my father this afternoon and received some bad news.

the daughter of a woman who was one of my childhood friends at the kh died today from leukemia.

she was 16 years old.

Special K

Robdar, it is so sad when someone you know dies needlessly. It hurts. Or just to know that maybe the person who died might have had a chance.

For now, his parents will feel they have done the right thing, as well the son on his death bed, in that ambulance ,felt he was doing the right thing.

The hard time will be if the parents ever due research and discover that the WTBTS keep changing their minds on things... like organ transplants. What if some day this organization changes it's mind on blood tranfusion.

If that day comes, you will see alot of people emotionally crash and the members on this web site will skyrocket. We need to be ready for them, to help them and support them.

It saddens us all to here this type of story that is continually happening.

and thankyou for sharing

Special K

34

Help me find the right antedote to wake sleeping beauty

by shotgun in

my wife will not entertain the thought that the org is not directed by god.

even when presented with constant organizational flip flops she believes its gods direction.

and why not thats what she has been taught since childhood.. is ther anything that seems to work better in reasoning with women inparticular.

Special K

Hey shotgun.

Think about you all the time and wish I could be there more for you.

If you wanted to, you could just see a lawyer on a "consultation basis". A consultation visit to discuss what your rights are especially as pertains to your daughter. You still have to pay a fee, but it is not like a permanent engagement of a lawyer. That you could decide later when and if needed. After consultation just tear up your bill after you pay it in cash so she doesn't see it and don't stick it in your wallet. Wives under deress tend to root and search for things.

You have rights. and I believe the post on that the rejected person sometimes makes all the concessions at first ... that is if they are not aware of this thing that happens. but you are aware and need to try and help her see that she needs to make concessions, too. This is not a one way street, with only one persons feelings, and one persons DEMANDS! Maybe, you need to wait her out and keep gently saying what are your concessions or compromises or suggest some to her if she can't figure any out. Full fledge.. I demand.. and YOU. YOU. YOU..is not a giving . It needs to be WE. What if we. or I will give this part to the solution.

sometimes people try to use what has worked for them all their life. Like crying and stomping and making one feel guilty. It seems that you are being put on a "shame on you" and "you are the one causing all this upset". However, does one who takes your precious sunshine and run away sound like they have no part in this upset. I seem to think, that is quite unreasonable way to solve a problem. It kind of smacks of "Let me hurt you, because you deserve it and you need to straighten up." You are not a child and needed to be treated like her husband, a man.. and an adult."

Watch for signs that she slips into a mother.. You are a bad boy, kind on attitude.. and respond to her in a "adult voice"...

You wish to question things and she wants to strip you of her love and take your daughter too.

what if things were reversed? and these things were happening the other way around. Maybe, she needs to be told that picture. For, I don't feel that you would walk away and abandon her and take your daughter,. why on earth does she feel she has any right to take away your daughter. You have rights.

The J.W. organization claim to do things out of love.. like disfellowshipping. From my experience of being disfellowshipped, I did not feel any love.

There is another posting to read. Punch in "rebel" in search and he has alot of good feedback on the judicial committee visiting him. Especially about turning the tables so that she will not receive so much support for the Congregation, because you support her in continuing strong in the lie (oops faith) and that you are ony searching and have doubts.

talk soon shotgun

Special K

38

My JC

by rebel in

jw
friends

.....has been changed for the third (!!!!!

) time to friday 11th july.

apparently, there were no elders available on the previous days so i just have to fit in.. wish me luck!.

Special K

Hey Rebel:

You have quite a dilema going on.

Only you can weigh all the responses you have gotten. Alot of concerned support here on the forum.

Since some of us have been raised as J.W.'s the losses (family and friends) may feel too much to bear if you were disfellowshipped abruptly. If this is your case I too would try to stall them, to give your system time to catch up to the "new truths" you have learned that aren't J.W. teachings. Time to let your heart catch up to your mind or vice versa.

If you have friends and family, who are not J.W.'s, then you have to weigh out as to why you need to stop a disfellowshipping from going through or better yet, you take the control away from them and disassociate yourself.

Only you know how you are feeling and where you are emotionally inside.

Special K

12

Lu'au anyone

by shotgun in

one of many ways to experience a slice of island culture, the lu'au (loo-ow) is a hawaiian tradition: a feast to celebrate accomplishments, honor important people and commemorate great events.

in old hawai'i it was a time to pay homage to ancestral gods with song, dance and offerings of food, a grand celebration that sometimes lasted for days.. .

lu'au description taken from hawaii.com.

Special K

This Lu'au thing made me really want to dig in, shotgun.

So I did some history research yesterday. All afternoon!

This is word for word what I discovered.

"The Lu'au is a Hawaian feast of celebration. A lu'au is held at special beginnings or endings.. a marriage, a child's first birthday, a retirement, a graduation. Festive clothing is worn, flowers are everwhere. Lots of food wand Hawaiin music and dance fellow the feast."

The history of Lu'au:

"Feasts of early Hawaii were a way of communicating between the Hawaiians and their gods. The feasts were more than a ritualistic offering of food to the spirits. It was believed the gods were present throughout the meal, creating a closer relationship between man and the gods."

For a long time there was a law against women eating with the men at the Lu'au.

another history of the Lu'au says that,

"The birth of a child, a victorious battle are all events that called for the honouring of the gods and the sharing of bounty with friends and family"

What I have discovered from my research is that for any exJW disfellowshipped for celebrating a pagan holiday, such as myself, really should not have been disfellowshipped and put through all this "ship" of loosing family and friends.

Instead of disfellowshipping me .. They could have just thrown me a BIG LU'AU!!!

What a crock of "shaving cream"!!!

34

Help me find the right antedote to wake sleeping beauty

by shotgun in

my wife will not entertain the thought that the org is not directed by god.

even when presented with constant organizational flip flops she believes its gods direction.

and why not thats what she has been taught since childhood.. is ther anything that seems to work better in reasoning with women inparticular.

Special K

Hi Shotgun,

So happy you have this forum to get much needed support and help to get through all this crazyness while you are leaving J.W.s

I am new to the forum and never new anything like this existed.Disfellowshipped 12 years ago.

There is some great advice being sent to you through this forum. I sure it has helped you to know that you are not alone.

The ballroom dancing was a good idea. Your wife, as many J.W. wives is used to you taking the lead.

In ballroom dancing the woman, has to let the man lead in the dance by means of his subtle cues by touch. It might be a way to show her subconciously that you are still taking the lead, for she sounds so bewildered and now feels the loss of your lead in the J.W. organization.